January 22, 2021 at 7:24 PM

To Do List

⫸ Verify flight hours were properly logged.

⫸ Decide on Carlo's replacement.

⫸ Research profitability with John on helicopter tours

⫸ New IUD - make appointment!

⫸ Research growing your own coffee plants - compatible with Maine weather?

⫸ Grocery store.


Mom and Dad's

January 21 at 7:35 PM

Hey, Charlie. It's your old man, - I'm here, too, sweetheart! Hello! Sorry we missed you! - Deb, I'm trying to leave a message... anyways, Mom and I just wanted to make sure you didn't need anything for Saturday - Honestly, we were kind of surprised to hear you were having people over, but we'll swing by. Maybe you're mellowing out in your old age a little eh? - Oh, stop that, Gary, she's not even thirty. But we'll be there, I wanna see this little hotshot you say Cecilia is dating. And we want to meet your other friends! Give us a call if you have time tonight, otherwise we'll see you tomorrow. And we're bringing your sweet little baby brother Tank! He's so cute, and don't worry he is very well trained and will be on his best behavior, won't you, Tank? Anyway, we love you very much and we're so proud of you. See you tomorrow, sweetie. Bye! Gary - say goodbye to your daughter. For fuck's sake, Deb, it's a mach-
Call Back
HotGuy McMathsgood (Jake)
Did you see the pane of glass?
No, was there a pane of glass between him and the cobra? It takes a lot to rattle me, but a pit of snakes might do it. One snake? I can handle. 100 snakes? Nope rope indeed.
There was. What's your snake threshhold? 2? 10? 99?
Venomous or non venomous? Do I have a weapon? SPEAKING OF WEAPONS, OH SHIT. Now Marion has knife! I like her...
A combination of both. Any weapon of your choice, but ONLY one. Marion is the best and the only redemptive part of the Crystal Skull bullshit.
ANY weapon of my choice? Now I have chainsaw! Enclosed area or open air? Am I in a pit, or...?
A pit. With no glass between you and the cobra.
The cobra dies first, obviously, that thick, wing necked FUCK.
10. I could probably handle 10 snakes.
With a chainsaw? I'd figure at least 25.
Do you even know how many snakes 25 is? A LOT, JAKE. And I only have one chainsaw and at least ONE of the snakes is a cobra - fine. 18, we'll call it even. 18 snakes.
Where EXACTLY are you, when I'm in this pit battling snakes with a chainsaw? Also, I get to keep the chainsaw, right?
19, but I expect to be treated VERY WELL after. Dinner, a stroke or twelve of my ego, running me a bath so I can wash off the fucking discomfort of killing 19 SNAKES, and several very strong drinks, etc.
Standing above the snake pit, keeping track of your kill count. Then, I guess I'm setting up dinner, stroking your ego, and dumping you into a bath with several glasses of Macallan..
this was the correct answer.
Also, *do I get to keep the chainsaw or not?* VERY IMPORTANT.
20 was the "keep the chainsaw" quota. So no.
...GODDAMNIT. that is cruel.
Sorry, I don't make the chainsaw-to-snake ratio rules.
liked by ceci, theamarsh, dougs_ig and 24 others 💋 💪 #girlsgetitdone
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jengluck fuck yes!
mrs.springer.ig AMEN!
23 likes i like this new body suit.
View all 4 comments looking good, chuck. nice picture.
pilotguy93 if i make a joke about something being a mile high are you gonna smack me again?
for when ceec's dumb bf fucks up again

Boys Ain't Shit

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Idiot Boyfriend
Jimmy Fallon

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